Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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