and she was petting her beer can
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize