He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
