just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
