Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
