I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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