i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
