At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I can't turn off my feet"
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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