oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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