I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
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