Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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