I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
