fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize
