I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
