Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
