Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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