went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
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