My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
organizing the empties. That sober.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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