Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Who died my cat blue again?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
