you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
what day is it and did you see me today?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
