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• (636): View more from Missouri

  Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.

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• (323): View more from California

  Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?

  (1-323): View more from California

  We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?

  (323): View more from California

  Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.

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• (530): View more from California

  The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning

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• (518): View more from New York

  Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.

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• (506): View more from New Brunswick

  Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.

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• (808): View more from Hawaii

  Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!

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• (571): View more from Virginia

  i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get

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• (801): View more from Utah

  Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."

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