I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
