He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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