the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
