Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
