butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
