she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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