He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
