Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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