I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
She needs sedatives and a leash
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Randomize