dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
