She said her name was "party"
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize