the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Randomize
