i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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