I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
