no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
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