Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
