We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Randomize
