I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
