the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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