I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
