I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
In America we eat man semen.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
