Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
