i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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