I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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