I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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