I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
