sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I will pee on everything he values.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
