Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
