So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
