Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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