one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
