i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
