My liver just broke up with me...
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
