I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
