I'm pants shitting drunk right now
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
