I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
