I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
