i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
