you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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