I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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