I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
