As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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