Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
